kuhhristeen:

AHHH <3

(via fuckyeahphotographics)

Hello you!

aah i cant believe it’s been 4 weeks. 4 weeks! that’s 1 month. It’s the last day of November today. That means this thing has been going on for a year now. This is thus, by far, the oldest blog i’ve had.

Being at the last week of November also means that my exams are ending soon! 3 more days to unlimited freedom! I’ve been having so much fun this past week. and have been spending loadsof money too! shit i gotta watch my spending.

i’ll elaborate further of what i’ve done so far when i’ve got the time. I’m making Raissa’s birthday present now. I have so many presents to make. I’m even busier now than i was before exams, but i’m loving my current life like i have never before.

Life seems so sweet right now <3

I’m missing you now.

Hello

2 weeks and 3 days left.

So Kae’s been staying at my house for almost a week now. Ce Noni went back to Indo, so Kae has been accompanying me. I dont want her to leave, but i know it wont happen, just as always. Here i am saying people come, people go for the umpteenth time.

Now that our relationship have come so far, from just asking a small favour to becoming good friends, i’m even more confused of my feeling. When you’re near, i’m, happy. Sometimes i even get that chill feel,you know, the butterfly in the stomach feel. now i get it when people say that to me.But it’s at those times that i think to myself again, do i like you because i needed company and you arrived at the right time, or do i like you because i’m charmed by you, because of the way you are? i dont know.

So, Kae and I made wish lists last night before we slept. i got inspired by the guy who gave a speech on my graduation day. The first thing on my list is to go on the amazing race. This has been my dream since i dunno, years ago.I’m gonna do my best to give my wishes ticks, indicating that i’ve accomplished my wish. And to end off my list, wish no.14, i wrote TO BE HAPPY.

counting down now. 3weeks and 1 day left. that’s 22 days. in a few days the first number’s gonna turn 1.i cant say im not afraid.i’ll be lying if i do.i am scared. really scared.

i need to talk to someone now. i need company. this will be the millionth time i say the loneliness is killing me.i wanna call you, but i cant for im afraid you’ll back away. just like everyone else did.

3 weeks left. 25 days. I’m gonna do my best, try my hardest, and leave everything else in Your hands. I believe You will guide me to where I can be the best of me. I surrender everything to You now

Nowadays, when people ask me “hey how are you?” my answer is always the same - “my life is still sucky with bad grades, but somehow it’s become slightly better”. dont ask me why, because i dont know. It’s really funny if i come to think of it. So many things have happened in the past 2 years. The tears, disappointment, laughters and surprises. Now, at this point of time, i’m looking back and i’m not afraid to say whatever happens after December, no matter how my results are gonna be, im glad that i went through this. This whole experience has made me know myself even better, my strengths and my weaknesses.I’ve learnt to persevere, to not give up. I had always thought that i was strong and could do everything by myself, but i learnt that even the strongest need help sometimes because we are human beings. and being human beings, we can only do things that are humanly possible, and that we need others alongside us to survive in this world.

when i spoke to Mrs Gan the other day, i told her what have happened so far since the last time i met her. She said one thing -“Novi, you are so loved”. Right then, i realised, I am loved. so much for saying life sucks, i am thankful for those who’ve been helping me.I look back, i know there are so many people whom i can turn to for help, but i just didnt see.

I’m thankful for Mrs Gan. Without her, i dont know how i could get through my most difficult period so far. I can say that she was the one who’s been helping me the most.

I’m thankful for Sally. Sally, i like talking to her,catching up with her. she’s always ready to help, and is never ending with encouragement.That’s what i need the most.

I’m thankful for Elaine for being the most patient person who can stand my attitude. She accepts me as a friend for who i am. You cant find this kinda person everyday. I’m lucky to have one as a friend.

I’m thankful for Dew. Having known him, i can say he’s the funniest guy i’ve ever known. My life is kinda happier now, it’s partly because of him.

I’m thankful for Kae. I really enjoy her company. She’s like an older sister that i never have. I can study with her, I can have fun with her. With a personality so kind, who wouldnt be thankful for knowing you, Kae?

I’m thankful for my parents. They, like other parents, are annoying at times. All the naggings and scoldings, saying that i’m this and that, comparing me with other people. Sometimes i think they dont understand what im going through. But what i can never understand from them is, they love me for who i am. They never expect too much for me. As long as i do my best, even if it’s not perfect, they are happy. Now, how many people can actually do that? the acceptance is priceless.

I’m thankful for Loni. From 2 teenagers who were seated side by side in a classroom, to 12 years of being best friends. We practically know each other inside out. We’ve been living in different countries for 6 and a half years now. and we’re still best friends. She’s irreplaceable.

I’m thankful for Candies. She’s younger than me, but much more mature. need advice? call candies. enough said.

I’m thankful for Raissa. She’s the only one who can stand talking up tp 3-4 hours in the phone with me, listening to my misery. She made a book of quotes for me to read everyday. I know u wont read this ra, but it was ur book of quotes that made me stand on my feet again and say i can do this.

There are so many other people who’ve helped me in one way or another. i know none of the above mentioned people will ever read this because they dont know i have this blog. but that’s not the point. i just wanna type this thought here as a time capsule that i can read in the future and remember what they’ve done for me.

I do.

now i spend most of my day thinking about you. is it the right thing to do? are you worth the space in my mind?

i was wondering where and who we would be 10 years from now. will we still be friends? or more than that? or we no longer keep in touch? how would i be? would you live a good life? who will i end up with? someone like you? no matter what happen in the future, where we will be and who we become, i want to look back to this point of time and laughed at it while saying “i’m glad that it happened to me cos that led to where i am now. and im happy”. and i’ll remember that you were one of those strangers that entered my life, and helped me pull through.

as of now, i really miss you.

loveyourchaos:

(by Cami)

just like that, i lost a friend

how do you know if you love someone? how do you know if someone loves you? how do you know if the two of you will end up together in the end? how to make me know?